Just Be Yourself
By Muriel Kramer
Hopkinton, Massachusetts USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 10 No. 3, May-June 1993, p. 75
Not long after the start
of school my son, Tyler, six, began wondering when I'd be able to help
out at school like some of the other mothers. Because I have two younger
children who need a sitter when I'm gone, I was only going to volunteer
a couple of times. I told him he'd have to be patient and wait until
it was my turn.
The big day finally arrived,
and Tyler was thrilled. As we drove his siblings to a friend's house,
he happily chatted with his brother about how nice it would be and what
we would be doing in class today. Then he suddenly stopped short. After
a slight pause, he spoke directly to me and said, "Don't worry,
Mom. Just be yourself, and you'll be fine." I smiled to myself
and thanked him for his confidence in me.
It wasn't until later that
I thought about how important this was to him--a new school, new friends,
and a new teacher. Kindergarten was serious business and extremely important
to Tyler. In spite of this, he was able to remember it would be unfamiliar
to me, and that maybe I could use a bit of encouragement. Not only that,
he also expressed total confidence in me! He didn't need to remind me
to be quiet, wait my turn, be polite, or any of the countless things
I tend to remind him of before doing something new. He trusted me to
behave myself and not embarrass him, and still I knew he would understand
if I made a mistake. "Don't worry, Mom. Just be yourself, and you'll
be fine." What a wonderful thing to say!
I think of that simple statement
sometimes when we are off to visit relatives, shop, attend church, or
whatever, and I remember how much nicer it was to hear an expression
of confidence rather than a reminder to behave.
I think of that statement
sometimes when people tell me what a mistake it is to "give in"
to my kids so much. "You'll spoil them forever if you don't get
them used to life's 'realities' now when they are young." Happily
I find that children can and do learn to be generous with others when
others are generous with them. Parental generosity and respect reap
high dividends. Treating our children respectfully is really the only
way to teach them to respect others. Once again I have reason to thank
La Leche League for opening my heart to alternatives in parenting, so
I could be open to my children and their differing abilities and needs.
I think of Tyler's statement
sometimes when I'm considering what I really want my children to learn
as they grow. High on my list is confidence in themselves and their
abilities even in unfamiliar situations. "Don't worry. Just be
yourself, and you'll be fine."
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:29:22 UTC 2007.
