Lessons from Breastfeeding
Beth Ratledge
Maryville TN USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS,
Vol. 18 No. 6, November-December 2001, p. 210
I breastfed my son, Alex,
from the time of his birth until he chose to stop nursing at 17 months
old. He is almost four now. Breastfeeding my child was a very profound
experience that has touched me deeply and been a catalyst for me to
discover new facets of myself. The many difficulties I experienced during
breastfeeding make the lessons I have learned that much sweeter. I am
thankful for the entire experience and I wish to share my journey.
Breastfeeding seemed to get
off to a good start. Although Alex had to be taken from me immediately
after his birth because of concerns about his health, he was shortly
back in my arms and ready to eat. The lactation consultant told me that
he latched on beautifully and was obviously going to be naturally good
at breastfeeding. I took her at her word, because I had no idea what
to expect. However, before leaving the hospital two days later I had
concerns. The consultant returned and spoke with me again. I was worried
about whether or not Alex was getting enough to eat because he nursed
frequently and for long periods of time. In addition, he had developed
a cranky side and nursing didn't calm him when he was upset. The consultant
again told me that he was nursing beautifully, gave me some lanolin
for my nipples, and wished me the best. So, we headed home.
That evening, we made a trip
to the emergency room, due to Alex's unwillingness to nurse for any
length of time before detaching from my breast and screaming as if he
were hungry. In addition, his mouth was dry and sticky, which worried
both the nurses on duty and myself that maybe he was becoming dehydrated.
I was blessed to have a breastfeeding mother as the pediatrician on
call. She was able to calmly deal with my fears and wasn't alarmed by
my tearful, incoherent description of the problem. She watched me nurse
(Alex must have only needed a change of scenery, because he ate hungrily
and for a long period of time in front of the doctor) and repeated what
the lactation consultant had said, that my son was a natural. She also
told me something else that I needed to hear: breastfeeding can be hard
at first. She rated breastfeeding up there with new parenting as one
of the hardest things we will probably do in our lives. Although I had
read ideas like this over and over in the many books and magazines I
absorbed during my pregnancy, hearing it from another real mother sitting
in front of me was completely different. She told me about her own experience,
and she encouraged me to stay focused and committed to what we had started.
We visited another pediatrician in her office the next day. Again I
was blessed to see the only breastfeeding doctor in the group. She watched
me nurse, told me that my milk had come in, and shared her experiences
with me. She encouraged me in the same way the previous doctor had the
evening before. I am so thankful for those two women. I often drew on
their encouragement in order to continue with breastfeeding while things
were tough.
Alex continued breastfeeding
with some obstacles and consultations along the way. Each time I talked
with the doctor, the on-call nurse, or a La Leche League Leader, I received
lots of encouragement, which helped give me the determination to continue.
For example, a nurse who was treating me for sore nipples told me about
her similar experience, what to expect, and what to do about it. On
another occasion, my La Leche League Leader listened to my symptoms
over the phone and suggested that I might have thrush. She was right.
She had also had thrush and kept breastfeeding during that time. She
told me some ways to cope with it. These women were such blessings.
In addition, my mother listened to all my uncertainties, helped me during
the difficult periods, and accepted every decision I made about breastfeeding
in a wonderfully supportive fashion.
I've learned a lot from the
entire experience, but it has taken some time pondering these events
to see how they have become part of who I am today. First and foremost,
I grew spiritually, as it seemed helpful people came into my life just
when I was at my most vulnerable and distraught.
I learned that I was able
to offer physical sustenance to Alex at the same time I was nurturing
him as his mother. Although I don't feel that breastfeeding was necessary
for the strong bond we have today to exist, I know it was right for
us. Breastfeeding became a stepping stone for the next level of bonding
with us. Physical closeness and touch quickly became emotional closeness
and connection.
I've always known that I
am determined and persistent, but I don't think I ever really knew to
what extent. I think my experience breastfeeding Alex gave me a better
understanding of this part of myself. I think this recognition of my
own inner strength developed along with my changing perception of and
appreciation for my body.
I value my body and my breasts
differently now, too. I see the beauty in their natural abilities, rather
than focusing only on their appearance. Through the breastfeeding experience,
I became and am still becoming more comfortable in my own skin. It has
become increasingly clear to me that I probably nurtured myself as much
as my son during the time we nursed.
I also know that these are
only the first of many lessons I will be learning about life, love,
mothering, and myself as both Alex and I grow.
Last updated Friday, October 27, 2006 by njb.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:29:42 UTC 2007.
