Taking Back the Family Turf
Dori Pelz-Sherman
San Rafael CA USA
Report from 2001 LLLI Conference
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 18 No. 5, September-October 2001, p. 179
"It's wonderful to hear
the background music of children," began William J. Doherty, PhD,
as he set the tone for a highly interactive discussion examining family
life today in his session "Taking Back the Family Turf. The Importance
of Face-to-Face Family Time and Family Rituals."
Doherty reported that in
the last 20 years we have lost an average of 25 percent of our free
time. Families are building their family culture around children's activities,
while children are becoming increasingly less able to entertain themselves.
Parents have become "cruise ship entertainment directors."
He discussed the breakdown
of neighborhoods, how materialism has created a consumer culture of
childhood, how the competitive nature of our culture has negatively
affected family life, and how smaller families have led parents to see
the child as a "host of varied potentials."
Dinnertime is shared with
the television by over half of American families. Bedtime rituals are
vanishing. Sports programs for children are becoming more involved and
controlled by adults. Parents are losing confidence in their own authority.
Colleges now claim that incoming students are "burned out"
on education by the time they arrive.
Reversing this trend in your
own family is possible, according to Doherty, by limiting television,
eating meals together, listening to children without giving advice,
walking the family dog together, and by asking your children if they
want to participate in the activities you sign them up for.
What else can we do? As co-founder
of Family Life Ist, Doherty spoke passionately about the movement getting
under way in Minnesota. A Family 1st Seal of Approval is granted to
an organization when it meets the following criteria:
- balanced priorities
- clear expectations
- family-friendly decisions honored
- religious commitments honored
- a common voice for parents
These criteria are explained
further on the Family Life 1st Web site (FamilyLife1st.org), which tells
more about this group of "citizens building a community where family
life is an honored and celebrated priority."
Last updated Friday, October 27, 2006 by njb.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:29:53 UTC 2007.
