Breastfeeding an Adopted Baby
Marcia Fisch Berger
San Rafael, California, USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 11 No. 5, September-October 1994, p. 155
We provide articles from our publications from previous years for reference for our Leaders and members. Readers are cautioned to remember that research and medical information change over time.
As a prospective adoptive
mother, I wanted to do all I could to bond with my baby. I'd heard about
adoptive nursing but wasn't sure I could handle it. One month before
our baby's due date, with some trepidation I phoned La Leche League.
Trepidation because years ago my sister, supported by La Leche League,
proudly nursed her babies anywhere, everywhere, and past age three,
which offended me at the time. But what did I have to lose by calling?
LLL sent me a booklet about adoptive nursing and encouraged me to call
Laura, the League's San Rafael Leader.
Laura asked good questions
and objectively assessed my situation, including the demands of my full-time
job, the uncertainty regarding whether the biological mother might change
her mind, and my husband's and my concerns about the great time and
energy demands involved in trying to induce lactation. We agreed after
considering all these factors that it was not a good idea for me to
try to induce lactation in advance. She offered to lend me a book about
breastfeeding and encouraged me to attend the next San Rafael La Leche
League meeting. By then our baby had been born in Arkansas, and we were
there for adoption procedures. Although there was a lactation consultant
in the area, I didn't contact her.
So we bottle-fed our baby
during those first few weeks, but a voice inside kept nagging. Finally
I called Laura again and attended the La Leche meeting in San Rafael.
I explained how overwhelmed I'd been by the strong sucking action the
one time I had held my two-day-old baby to my breast. It felt like a
vacuum cleaner had gotten hold of my nipple. Seeing my pained expression,
my husband had discouraged me from trying again, and we agreed to use
the little bottles filled with formula provided by the hospital. Now
I told the group at the meeting, "The bottles are convenient, he's drinking
plenty, but still, I wonder whether I should try...." I'd read in a
La Leche booklet about the Supplemental Nutrition System (SNS) which
provides the nursing experience for babies of mothers who lack sufficient
breast milk, but I wasn't sure I could handle it. I assumed that Laura
would encourage me to try nursing.
"The decision to breastfeed
is a personal one," said Laura. Was this really La Leche League? She
wasn't saying I had to nurse. After further discussion I felt I had
enough information to help me make the right decision. "There are other
ways to be close physically," Laura added. "Take baths with your baby.
Try a sling." She brought a baby sling out from a closet. A couple of
others at the meeting said they preferred it to a front carrier. I tried
it on with Avi who nestled in comfortably. Laura said she could tell
me how to order the supplemental system for breastfeeding if I decided
I wanted it, but she didn't have one for sale among her supplies on
hand. I left the meeting believing that I would not be able to breastfeed.
But on our way out one of the other mothers gave me a paper with the
phone number of Cynthia, whom she'd met at a prior La Leche League meeting.
Cynthia was an adoptive mother who was breastfeeding with the supplemental
system.
I got a sling, which was
great, and took enjoyable baths with my baby. Shopping in Berkeley a
week later, I decided to call Berkeley's La Leche League Leader to see
whether she had a SNS available. It was her family's dinner time, but
she welcomed my call and let me come by to pick it up right away. She
offered to help me figure out how to use it if I could wait an hour,
which wasn't possible. However, she lent me an instructional videotape
and gave me a sheet of paper on which she'd written the names and phone
numbers of two women I could phone for help, both of whom had adopted
babies and used the system.
After a few days of ignoring
the device because it seemed to require extensive mechanical and plumbing
ability to connect the parts, I phoned Cynthia, who had been feeding
her now five-month-old baby girl exclusively with this system since
birth. She explained step by step on the phone how to connect the pieces
together. Another wonderful woman who had adopted and breastfed offered
to come over to help. She assured me that my baby was latching on properly.
From then on it all flowed--no pun intended!
After about a year of successful
nursing, biting during feeding became a problem. I phoned Laura, and
again, she asked good questions before offering a suggestion. She added
that if I was inclined to wean (which I hadn't mentioned, but I'd been
wondering about) this too was an option. By now I realized that she
would not push anyone to breastfeed for longer than they wanted to.
Her suggestion to stop the biting worked, and I realized it was not
yet time to wean entirely (we are down to one nursing a day).
Laura explains her approach
by saying, "I look at each individual and the total situation. I try
to empower women to make the right decision for themselves and their
babies rather than judge or decide for them."
My husband and I are thankful
to La Leche League for helping us to nurture our happy, outgoing seventeen-month-old
son. I believe that my gratitude for La Leche League's support is shared
by countless others. Valuable information is provided in an atmosphere
of total acceptance; each mother is encouraged to express her concerns
and trust her instincts. The support carries over into many areas of
concern to new mothers, including changes in spousal relationships,
continuing employment, and full-time parenting. There is also a terrific
lending library that covers all aspects of parenting.
I continue to attend La Leche
League meetings and recently was delighted to be asked to serve as a
resource person for other mothers who have questions about adoptive
nursing.
Last updated Friday, October 13, 2006 by njb.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:30:57 UTC 2007.
