Co-Leading: Working Together Effectively
Brandel D.
Falk
Jerusalem Israel
From: LEAVEN, Vol. 38 No. 4, August-September 2002 p. 81.
Good co-Leader relationships,
as with all relationships, sometimes take a lot of time and work. What
can we do to make co-leading successful?
In writing this article,
I solicited input from a number of Leaders who felt that they had good
working relationships with their current or former co-Leaders. They
had a number of good ideas about what made their Groups run smoothly.
These include good communication, division of labor that works for the
individual Leaders, and problem-solving when needed.
Cynthia Wick, a Leader in
Columbia, Maryland, USA, writes, “Here are my impressions: communication
is key. This cannot be stressed enough. You have to talk to each other—talk
honestly, and accept each other.” She continues, “You will
be different and you must accept your differences from the beginning,
concentrating on working together with your areas of agreement. If you
disagree on LLL business, you must talk about it as early and as calmly
as possible; always keep in mind that you share goals and are at least
teammates.”
Her co-Leader, Alice Kolasny,
adds, “We come to the rescue when the other blanks out, or we add
more information that the other person knows but didn’t think of
adding. We seem to do this seamlessly and it really works for us.
Neither of us ever feels
that the other has taken over the meeting or that our toes are being
stepped on.”
Co-Leaders divide the work differently. Some find that having one Leader
leading each meeting works best. Others lead every meeting together.
Cynthia reports, “One Leader would only lead meetings during the
summer, as she home-schooled during the rest of the year and told us
she just didn’t have time. So the other three Leaders split up
the September to May meetings, which worked out just fine.”
Linda Ruth Ciglen, a Leader
in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, on the other hand, states, “We are
both at every meeting. We divide up the meeting and take turns with
the questions. Although it may look like more work, it doesn’t
feel like it and is more fun. I would not like to be in a Group where
the meeting responsibility rotates and I am solely responsible my month.”
A number of Leaders mentioned
working well with co-Leaders despite, or maybe even because of how different
they are. Maren Eliason of Norman, Oklahoma, USA writes, “Actually,
I think our relationship was successful because of our different personalities.
I’m pretty extroverted and she’s an introvert. Plus we both
were fairly new Leaders so there was no ‘seniority’ in the
relationship...we were both very accepting of differences in parenting
as long as things were still within LLL philosophy—and we almost
always agreed on most aspects of parenting. It was the right combination
of differences and similarities, I think.”
Kathleen Whitfield, a Leader
in Riverside, California, USA writes, “I realized that my co-Leader
and I just ‘clicked’ at meetings, even though I was a move-in
Leader and we hadn’t known each other for long. We don’t have
much in common on the surface except for our La Leche League work, but
get us together at a meeting, and something just happens and we play
off each other better than I could have ever hoped.”
Leaders who continue to co-lead
often find that they work together even better over time. Both Alice
and Margi Grant (a Leader in San Diego, California, USA) say they work
“seamlessly” with their respective co-Leaders. Donna Davis,
from Chandler, Arizona, USA, feels the same way: “Over the years
we worked together, Dianne and I developed an almost ‘telepathic’
communication during meetings. With just a glance, we could agree on
how to approach a challenging situation or a distraught mother at a
meeting.”
Of course, co-Leaders don’t
always get along. In soliciting material for this article, I heard stories
of co-Leaders upset over each other’s discipline of children to
major disagreements about safety concerns for the meeting location.
Finances are also an area that may be a source of disagreement. Leaders
sometimes disagree about whether to use Group funds for Conference expenses
or Library books. Many of these problems can be avoided altogether if
Leaders talk about their expectations ahead of time. When co-Leaders
do disagree, discussion can help resolve problems. (See “Unresolved
Conflict” from Leaven Oct- Nov 1999 and “Difficult Conversations
—or How to Disagree without Being Disagreeable” in this issue.)
The District Advisor/Coordinator (or other support Leader) is available
to help Group Leaders work through problems. A Communication Skills/Human
Relations Enrichment Instructor may also be available to help Leaders
find ways to discuss their differences respectfully. Sometimes, the
only solution is for one or more co-Leaders to leave the Group, possibly
joining another or starting a new Group. If this can be done without
anger and placing blame, it will be less painful for everyone involved.
Everyone benefits from co-Leaders
who work well together. As Cynthia writes, “I firmly believe that
having co-Leaders who work together well enhances the experience of
mothers accessing LLL, whether it be by telephone, email, in person,
or at a meeting, as well as making it pleasurable for the co-Leaders
involved, and thus more rewarding.”
Misty Dunn is Division
Human Relations Coordinator for USWD. She has been an active Leader
for 31 years. She has a family of six children and two grandchildren.
In 2001, she retired from teaching so she could devote more time to
LLL. In November, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer so she is now
also actively advocating public awareness about ovarian cancer. This
article originally appeared in the January/February 2002 issue of Connections
Vol. 99 the USWD’s publication for LLL Area Personnel. Submissions
for the “Helping Mothers” column may be sent to Nan Vollette,
132 Powhatan Pkwy, Hampton, VA 23661 USA, vollette at whro.net (email).
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:31:08 UTC 2007.
