Our Stories: My Friend Becomes a Leader
Claire Charlton
Berkley MI USA
From: LEAVEN, Vol. 40 No. 4, August-September 2004, pp. 87.
When many of us became mothers
for the first time, we were breaking ground in more ways than one. Maybe
our friends and peers hadn’t become mothers. Maybe we were the
"first" in our circle to become pregnant. Perhaps we had friends
and family members who were already in the world of motherhood, yet
they approached it in a different way than we did. Maybe we were "pioneers"
because we chose to breastfeed, practice attachment parenting, use cloth
diapers, share sleep with our babies, or many other things that set
us apart from our more "mainstream friends." Even with the
changes, we were usually able to maintain friendships, or at least we
had mutual respect for each other’s choices. Sometimes, however,
we found that we could no longer be close friends with someone we once
cared for because our philosophies were so radically different.
So, we found support, joined
La Leche League, and made new friends. We pursued and achieved leadership,
and are now among others with similar parenting philosophies. They believe
in the same things that matter so very deeply to us. Still, we think,
"Wouldn’t it be fantastic if one of our old friends could
join us in La Leche League?"
I have spoken with many friends
who call early in their pregnancies to find out what my birth was like,
how did my life change, and to share how excited they were to join me
in motherhood. After a while it became clear that many of my friends
would choose a different path than I had. I always wished them good
luck, but I often felt sad when our approaches were very different because
it sometimes made it uncomfortable to really share mothering experiences.
Over time, I started to guard my enthusiasm, and watch each friend mother
"her own way."
My friend, Anne, who was
the girlfriend of a close friend when we were all in college, called
me with that familiar excitement a couple of years ago to let me know
how thrilled she was to be pregnant. Again, I was happy, in my guarded
way. As her pregnancy progressed and her birth unfolded, I could see
that perhaps this experience might be different.
Yesterday, Anne called me
to say that she is now working toward becoming a La Leche League Leader.
Anne shared with me that when she told her sponsoring Leader about me,
the Leader said "Oh! I didn’t know you had La Leche League
roots!" Even though Anne and I are in different Areas, different
Divisions, and several hundred miles apart, we are bound by much more
than the fact that we are both mothers. We are both La Leche League
mothers.
I feel as though I am getting
a new member of my own family. Now I can enjoy the support of a friend
I knew "before" our lives changed so much. Yes, we have grown
and we have changed, yet we have come back together, and I couldn’t
be happier. Welcome to La Leche League, Anne! I am honored to have you
join us!
Claire Charlton is an
LLL Leader with the La Leche League of Ferndale/Oak Park, Michigan,
USA Chapter.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:31:47 UTC 2007.
