A Look at the Concepts
Fiona Reynoldson
London England
Eileen Harrison
Rennes France
Monique Kitts
Ringgold GA USA
From: LEAVEN, Vol. 39 No. 6, December 2003 - January 2004, pp. 128-9.
La Leche League
Leaders, wherever they are in the world, share a common philosophy as
defined in the 10 concepts. This philosophy is not simply theoretical,
but intensely practical. Although no Leader's life, no Leader's family
will look exactly like that of another Leader, still we recognize this
common theme in each other and in the choices we make. La Leche League
Leaders don't just talk about the philosophy, don't just believe in
it as "a nice idea" but take that belief and make it "real"
in numerous ways every day.
LLL philosophy
is based on the belief that babies and young children have needs, that
instinct or something similar can lead us to identify and meet those
needs, and that this ability to understand and respond is enhanced by
the breastfeeding relationship. Recognizing and understanding the beliefs
behind individual choices help us to identify LLL philosophy in action.
Living the 10 concepts in her own unique way connects a mother to LLL.
Some people
refer to the concepts as "ideals." Others are uncomfortable
with this word. A different perspective can help some of us feel more
comfortable with the choices we make and about the diversity of ways
those around us incorporate LLL philosophy into their lives.
Webster's
New World Dictionary gives the following definition for the word
"ideal": "thought of as perfect or as a perfect model;
exactly as one would desire; of a perfect kind." The words "perfect
model" in this definition suggests that an "ideal" is
an action or choice that is better than others. Ideals may not be comfortable
things to live with; a mother may feel very aware of often not living
up to them and sometimes it may seem useless to try. We may set ourselves
up for failure when we think in terms of ideals. We may judge other
people, too, according to standards we have set for ourselves or believe
LLL has set for us. Sometimes it can interfere with our ability to help
each mother in the way that is most beneficial to her because comparing
her "ideals" with our "ideals" triggers our biases.
It may even limit the women we consider for leadership.
Looking again
at the concepts, there are no models, no defined choices of action.
LLL doesn't tell us how to live our lives. LLL philosophy provides a
common stage on which we can base our actions; a basis from which Leaders
can make individual decisions; a belief system that motivates our personal
parenting choices. Any "ideals" are our own; models that we
imagine conform to the philosophy. Living LLL philosophy, therefore,
is not really achieving specific goals, but using this set of principles
to guide our breastfeeding and parenting decisions. If we are using
LLL philosophy in developing our goals for ourselves related to our
children, we are living that philosophy.
LLL expects
that Leaders' and Leader Applicants' choices will reflect and reveal
LLL philosophy. Focusing on the motivation for a choice rather than
a specific action can help us see how a variety of choices can all be
congruent with LLL philosophy.
The following
suggests some of the ways in which mothers might live LLL philosophy.
Consider using it as a starting point to reflect on the 10 concepts.
Perhaps invite your co-Leaders, your Chapter, or some Leader Applicants
to join you.
How might
a mother, whatever her circumstances or background, demonstrate her
belief that "mothering through breastfeeding is the most natural
and effective way of understanding and satisfying the needs of the baby"?
Some ideas:
"baby" her baby; use breastfeeding to meet her baby's emotional
as well as physical needs; keep her baby close; hold him when he is
too full to nurse and is not ready to sleep; observe her baby to learn
how he signals his needs; be committed to responding promptly to her
baby's needs.
How might
a mother show her understanding that "mother and baby need to be
together early and often to establish a satisfying relationship and
an adequate milk supply" if her baby's health or hospital policies
mean that she and her baby may be separated after birth?
Some ideas:
make preliminary inquiries about hospital policies; if possible, choose
a birth place that is flexible; negotiate with the health care team
to ensure she can be with her baby early and often. Be informed about
potential difficulties and plan to avoid, minimize, or persevere to
overcome them.
If "in
the early years the baby has an intense need to be with his mother which
is as basic as his need for food," how might a mother also fulfill
her own needs, including the need to contribute to the family's income?
Some ideas:
be creative about how to include the baby in her activities; learn when
her baby is most likely to stay happily with another person; be flexible
about when and whether to leave; keep separations as short as possible
and start them as late as possible; work from home; be able and available
to go to her baby if he needs her; plan her work with an understanding
of the needs of babies in general and her own baby in particular; develop
her schedule to accommodate her baby's schedule; look for alternative
sources of financing.
How might
a mother demonstrate a belief that "breast milk is the superior
infant food"?
Some ideas:
have confidence that her healthy, full-term baby doesn't need water
or formula supplements; give priority to breastfeeding in the first
year; appreciate that the ill toddler who returns to exclusive breastfeeding
for a couple of days is receiving good nutrition.
How might
a mother show that "for the healthy full-term baby breast milk
is the only food necessary until baby shows signs of needing solids,
about the middle of the first year after birth"?
Some ideas:
practice exclusive breastfeeding in the early months; learn about and
watch for signs (and false signs) of readiness for solids; wait for
her baby to show an interest in other foods; have confidence that her
baby will eat when ready; be willing to reconsider a decision to offer
solids if her baby's reaction is negative.
If she believes
that "ideally the breastfeeding relationship will continue until
the baby outgrows the need," how might a mother manage negative
feelings about breastfeeding her older child?
Some ideas:
give herself permission to have negative thoughts, actively seek support
and empathy; keep in mind her child's age and maturity when making decisions
about weaning; consider establishing some limits to make the breastfeeding
experience more manageable; increase "other mothering," especially
before her child asks to nurse; understand that natural weaning takes
into account both the child's and mother's needs; watch her child for
signs that weaning is proceeding too quickly and respond with compassion
and flexibility.
How might
a mother show a commitment to the idea that "alert, active participation
in childbirth is a help in getting breastfeeding off to a good start"
if she is medicated or her birth experience is primarily controlled
by the medical team?
Some ideas:
recognize that being alert and active is a help, not a requirement;
be informed about birth procedures; choose a birth place where intervention
is not routine; choose a health care team, if possible, that values
the mother's role; take an active part in decision-making; be informed
about possible obstacles to a good start for breastfeeding and be prepared
to minimize or overcome them.
If "breastfeeding
is enhanced and the nursing couple sustained by the loving support,
help, and companionship of the baby's father," how might a mother
manage if the father is reluctant or is unsupportive? If she recognizes
that "a father's unique relationship with his baby is an important
element in the child's development from early infancy" how might
she compensate if the father is unwilling or absent?
Some ideas:
communicate her feelings and needs to her partner in positive ways;
show that she values his contribution; provide opportunities for the
baby and father to interact in enjoyable activities; show confidence
in the father's parenting skills; build a support network among other
family and friends; encourage the development of relationships between
the child and other close friends and family.
What are
some ways in which a mother might show that "good nutrition means
eating a well-balanced and varied diet of foods in as close to their
natural state as possible"?
Some ideas:
make whole foods her first choice; eat more home cooked meals where
she has control over the ingredients; read product labels for nutritional
information; plan menus using a variety of foods from different food
groups; introduce more whole grains into the family diet; reduce sweets
and sweeteners and substitute more natural sources of sweetness for
refined sugar; offer fruit, raw vegetables, and other nutritious foods
for snacks or desserts; reduce fats, especially saturated fats.
How might
a mother demonstrate her belief that "from infancy on, children
need loving guidance which reflects acceptance of their capabilities
and sensitivity to their feelings"?
Some ideas:
learn about characteristics of ages and developmental stages; expand
her resources by learning from individuals and books with a similar
philosophy; be aware of challenges to her patience so that she can learn
to avoid, minimize or overcome them; manage her time and space to minimize
difficult situations; recognize a responsibility to set some limits
and teach her children what they are; work toward greater consistency
while maintaining sensitive flexibility; maintain a positive attitude
and perspective, realizing that she will continue to learn more about
her child and develop her parenting skills as he grows.
Fiona Reynoldson
is Coordinator for Leader Accreditation for Future Areas in Asia. She
lives in London, England with her, husband, Tony. They have four adult
children and three granddaughters. Eileen Harrison is Regional Administrator
of Leader Accreditation for "Europe 1" and "Europe 2," and a member
of the Leader Accreditation Department Council. She leads a Toddler
Group and the Ille-et-Villaine Chapter's monthly Leader Applicant meetings
in Rennes, France. Eileen and her husband, Richard, have four adult
sons and two granddaughters. Monique Kitts lives with her husband, Aaron,
and three children. She is Regional Administrator of Leader Accreditation
for the Southern Region, EUS.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:31:48 UTC 2007.
