Working as Co-Leaders
at Series Meetings
by Laura
Cunningham
Mission Viejo, California, USA
from LEAVEN, Vol. 31 No. 4, July - August 1995, pp. 57-58
Every Leader has a unique
style when it comes to leading meetings. Some enjoy word games or puzzles
to introduce information; some are particularly creative with visual
aids; some lead guided discussions with the ease of a friendly conversation.
Leaders also differ in the meeting tone-some preferring a more structured,
controlled approach while others are quite happy with an informal flow
of topics and information. Although Leaders are bound to differ from
time to time, acceptance of differences and effective communication
are key to co-leading meetings and avoiding conflict.
Different types of meetings
within a series are more likely to offer something for everyone, broadening
LLL's appeal. "Diversity is one of our great strengths," writes Kathy
Triick, ALLE for LLL of Wisconsin, USA, in Badger Briefs (Winter
1994-95). "It demonstrates to mothers who come to us for help that there
is no one set pattern to living with LLL philosophy; that can make her
feel more comfortable as she seeks to apply what she learns to her own
life."
Many Leaders have found that
as long as they practice good communication skills with co-Leaders,
their differences can be complementary. But Leaders must talk to each
other to decide how to divide meeting responsibilities and evaluate
the meetings.
Sophia Sayigh of Arlington,
Massachusetts, USA, recognizes how differences can be strengths when
communication is present.
Before we became
mothers, Nancy was in sales and I was a librarian. She is marvelous
with off-the-cuff remarks; I have a knack for remembering a fact. She
is energized by rehashing the Series Meeting right away; I have more
insight if I sit with it a while. Regardless of when our discussion
takes place, I'm convinced that our success in co-leading is firmly
founded on open communication with each other during and between meetings.
There probably are as many
ways to divide meeting responsibilities as there are co-Leaders, but
the best approach is for every Leader to participate in each meeting
in some way. The LEADER'S HANDBOOK states that "enthusiasm tends to
stay highest" when all Leaders participate.
For several years, Sophia
and Nancy have preferred to split the responsibility for each meeting
in half, giving each Leader a turn at the role of active Leader and
support Leader. One does the introduction and leads the formal discussion
and wrap-up; the other talks about membership and leads the round robin
of mothers' questions.
Other Leaders prefer to be
responsible for the entire meeting and rotate that responsibility among
co-Leaders. Patty Allen of Scituate, Massachusetts shares leading meetings
with two co-Leaders.
One thing we do that has
worked well, is choose which meetings each of us will lead at the
start of the year. We do not each lead a full series. We find that
only having to prepare for one meeting every three months helps, now
that our children are older and our schedules are getting more complicated.
We also switch with each other if something important comes up. We
almost always are together for each meeting, but this seems to make
it seem a little less stressful, not having to plan four meetings
in a row.
The LEADER'S HANDBOOK suggests
other ways to share meeting responsibilities:
- Dividing the meeting topic
into two parts with each Leader being responsible for one part. For
instance, at Meeting 1, Leader A could lead a discussion on the advantages
of breastfeeding to baby and Leader B could address the advantages
to mother.
- A co-Leader can be in
charge of refreshments or memberships or other tasks that have not
been delegated to a Group worker.
- The Leader who did not
lead the Series Meeting may lead the Evaluation Meeting. She may be
able to offer some constructive suggestions gained from her more objective
perspective.
Experienced co-Leaders appreciate
the value of having a supportive Leader present who is able to step
back from the discussion and monitor the mothers' reactions. Some Leaders
establish a system of signals to help each other recognize when a mother
seems to be feeling uncomfortable, confused or isolated. A signal can
quietly steer the discussion back on track or help keep within the meeting
time frame.
Patty Allen says eye contact
with her co-Leaders during meetings has become very important. "We have
learned to watch each other and try to notice if the subject is slipping
out of our topic area. If I get into trouble I will ask my co-Leader
a question that perhaps will lead the conversation gently in another
direction or bring up a subject that we need to discuss."
When Sophia Sayigh is in
the supporting Leader role, she focuses her attention on her co-Leader,
hoping that mothers will follow her example. "I also keep my antennae
out for a mother whose needs may not have been addressed," says Sophia.
"At times we use body language to communicate with each other. For example,
eye contact, a tilt of the head, or reaching for a resource does the
trick when we feel something needs follow-up. At other times a direct
comment is just the thing."
Writing in Yankee Wellspring
(March 1993), Susan Van Meter, ALLE for Massachusetts/Rhode Island/Vermont,
USA, says, "Occasionally, I've been frustrated when a meeting seems
to be getting away from me because small groups are starting to talk
among themselves or people are wandering away in alarming numbers to
the kitchen. One well-placed comment from a co-Leader can bring back
the cohesiveness that was lacking!" Susan also appreciates her co-Leaders
ability to help mothers take care of toddler situations, help preschoolers
with snacks in the kitchen, or step in and make wonderful clarifying
statements.
Acceptance requires a co-Leader
to put personal preferences aside and allow the Leader in charge of
a meeting to choose the tone and structure that suit her. Effective
communication requires co-Leaders to speak honestly and fairly as well
as avoid conflicts or resolve those that arise.
As a District Coordinator
in the Massachusetts/Rhode Island/Vermont Area, Margaret Mannke has
been called upon to assist in conflict resolution and has found that
"communication-or lack thereof-is always at the root of the problem."
When Leaders fail to share information with each other, confusion, frustration
and hurt feelings result. Sometimes, Margaret says, a Leader may not
"have a clue" that a problem exists until communication is established.
Resolution is achieved when all Leaders can express their feelings and
state their needs. "The most important thing is to be open and honest
about your feelings, but in a nonthreatening way.
A District Advisor, District
Coordinator or Human Relations Enrichment Instructor can help Leaders
find a way to present a problem to a co-Leader in a positive way. "Start
with empathetic listening," writes Sandy Larsen, HREI, in Arkansas/Oklahoma,
USA's HeartLine (Spring/Summer 1993). She opens the discussion
with,
"How did you feel about...?"
or
"I felt uncomfortable with
the way such and such went today during the meeting. How did you feel
about that?"
By concentrating on hearing
the other person's feelings before sharing her own, the Leader will
show that she cares and that she values her co-Leader's help in solving
the problem.
"Next, share your concerns,"
Sandy advises, "by explaining your feelings in a way that does not label
your colleague in a negative way.
"I feel dissatisfied with
the way that turned out, and I'm hoping we can explore some alternatives."
If the co-Leader does not
perceive the problem, a Leader can recognize that the problem is her
own and state that she needs the co-Leader's help solving her problem.
"I understand that such
and such seemed fine to you. but I really feel uneasy when that happens.
Could we explore alternatives together?"
Sometimes, even after the
best efforts, co-Leaders may have to agree to disagree. Although "it's
great when Leaders enjoy each other's company and are friends outside
of LLL, it's not essential," says Margaret Mannke. By keeping our goal
of providing information and support to breastfeeding mothers in mind
and using effective communication, Leaders can accept - even celebrate
- differences.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:32:18 UTC 2007.
