The Nature of Prejudice
Alice Martino
Manlius NY USA
From: LEAVEN, Vol. 38 No. 5, October-November 2002 p. 109.
The Nature of Prejudice
is a book that I read 40 years ago. That is a long time past but at
least one part of the book remains crystallized in my mind.
Recently, I thought of it
while reading an LLL Leader’s account of a family reunion she attended.
Among others gathered was a young woman expecting her first child and
another nursing her new baby. Unfortunately, the nursing mother had
a long list of complaints and nothing good to say about breastfeeding.
The Leader must have had every nerve on edge as she felt many eyes on
her, all wondering how she would react. Mustering all her skills, she
acknowledged how difficult life was just then for the new mother, and
expressed the hope that everything would get easier. She also mentioned
that breastfeeding had meant a great deal to her and offered to share
information with both the breastfeeding and the pregnant woman, if either
woman wished.
Gordon Allport, author of
The Nature of Prejudice would have been proud of her. Dr. Allport
described an experiment designed to discover what type of reply most
effectively counters prejudicial remarks. In his experiment, people
in public situations heard prejudicial statements about others. Then
they were interviewed to determine how they felt about what they had
heard. In some cases, people (who were actually trained actors) had
argued angrily against the prejudice. When no one opposed the prejudice,
listeners were more likely to believe that the remarks were true or
that everyone else agreed, and they were more likely to fear speaking
out against the prejudice. Not surprisingly, when prejudice was countered,
it was less likely to be accepted by listeners. But it didn’t take
a strong statement to effectively counter prejudice. Reasoned responses
in a calm tone of voice were effective. A mild statement such as, "That
hasn’t been my experience," is likely to be as good or better
than a lengthy or more vehement argument.
Not long after the family
picnic, the Leader learned that the unhappy mother had weaned. Soon
afterward, the expectant mother—who had by then given birth—called
the Leader. She was able to give the mother support and information
while sharing the new mother’s delight in nursing her baby. The
Leader was glad that the new mother felt comfortable calling and was
enjoying breastfeeding.
Leaders can’t know everything
that affects another mother’s decision, even when those mothers
are family or friend. In this case, the Leader’s impression was
that the pregnant mother attributed the other mother’s distress
to that mother’s whole experience, not just to the breastfeeding.
At the same time, she had perceived the Leader as understanding and
positive. The Leader’s mild statement echoed her own feelings.
Those who’ve taken the
first workshop in the Communication Skills Enrichment Series, "Listening
from the Heart," may recognize the skills the Leader used. She
listened empathetically to the unhappy woman, seeking first to understand
her situation and her feelings about it. Then she gently let the others
there know that one woman’s experience of breastfeeding was not
universal to every woman. The workshop teaches skills for establishing
rapport, even with those with whom we disagree—maybe especially
with those with whom we disagree. It’s easy to deal with those
with whom we have an instant, instinctual understanding. However, Leaders
are committed to helping every mother who turns to them for assistance,
even those with whom they disagree. When we set aside our own feelings
and seek to understand another person’s point of view, we not only
demonstrate our interest in her, but also give her the same respect
we want for ourselves and for other mothers.
For more information about
getting along with people we find difficult, schedule a Communication
Skills Enrichment series in your own backyard. Contact the CSE or HRE
department coordinator in your area.
Editor’s note: Communication
Skills Enrichment (CSE) is the newly renamed Human Relations Enrichment
(HRE) program in the Eastern US. Please check with your support person
as availability of CSE / HRE may vary between LLL entities.
Reference
Allport G. The Nature of
Prejudice. Cambridge, MA: Addison-Wesley, 1954.
Alice Martino serves as
editor of Harvest, the Area Leaders' Letter for New York West, USA,
and is a Communication Skills Instructor. Submissions for the "Helping
Mothers" column may be sent to Nan Vollette at: 132 Powhatan Pkwy,
Hampton, VA 23661 USA, or to vollette at whro.net (email).
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:31:41 UTC 2007.
