How Leaders Can Avoid Mixing
Causes
from LEAVEN, Vol. 33 No.
5, October-November 1997, pp. 99-101
by Nancy Jo Bykowski and Marianne Vakiener
When we focus on our message
of mothering through breastfeeding, we help ensure that mothers get
a clear picture of LLL.
La Leche League was
founded to give information and encouragement, mainly through personal
help, to all mothers who want to breastfeed their babies.... This
singleness of purpose does not prevent interaction with other organizations
with compatible purposes, but La Leche League will carefully guard
against allying itself with another cause, however worthwhile that
cause may be.
--LLL's Purpose and
Philosophy No. 5
What Is Mixing Causes?
Since all women, regardless
of background or interest, are welcome at LLL Series Meetings, almost
any topic from architecture to zoology may come up. Most of the time,
the discussion passes over such unrelated topics quickly. A topic becomes
a problem of mixing causes when it comes up so frequently that it starts
to give a false or restrictive view of what LLL stands for. This can
happen differently in different Groups.
In some Groups, subjects
such as home birth, family bed, tandem nursing or vegetarianism may
be mentioned frequently because a number of members are interested in
them. If those choices are the only ones discussed by the Group, mothers
may get the unspoken message that they reflect LLL philosophy.
Other subjects, such as
home schooling, food co-ops, alternative medicine, non-circumcision,
non-vaccination and political or religious topics are also outside LLL
philosophy, but some Leaders and/or Group members may be interested
in them. Sometimes subtle messages are sent with clothing, bags, bumper
stickers or pins with slogans on them. Sometimes casual conversation
or observable action reveal that a Leader or member is involved with
other groups in the community or has a home business. Any of these things
can leave attendees with an inaccurate perception of what LLL is.
Why Do We Avoid Mixing Causes?
First, when discussion during
a meeting or phone call strays to one of these other topics, we are
no longer talking about LLL's cause, mothering through breastfeeding.
The more time we spend on other subjects, the more likely mothers get
a distorted view of LLL. By sticking with our message of mothering through
breastfeeding, we help ensure that the attendees get a clear picture
of LLL philosophy. It also enables us to help mothers who may hold different
opinions about these other topics due to their cultural or religious
backgrounds.
In "LLL: A Single Issue
Organization" (US Western Division, Connections Nov/Dec 1991),
Lynne Coates mentions another reason why we are a single issue organization:
To create and maintain
a unified, focused leadership, able to work together regardless of
differences of opinion on other issues.
By focusing on our common
goal of helping women interested in breastfeeding, we are able to attract
volunteer Leaders who hold a variety of opinions on a variety of topics.
How Do We Avoid Mixing Causes?
When a topic that has nothing
to do with LLL's objectives is mentioned it is helpful for a Leader
to have a ready-made response. The LEADER'S HANDBOOK (page 59) reminds
us that "as an organization, LLL is neither for nor against any other
cause...our goal is solely to offer information and support to women
who want to nurse their babies." A Leader can then empathize with the
mother's feelings and proceed with the regular discussion.
We can avoid mixing causes
by going back to basics. One way to decide whether or not a particular
topic is appropriate at Series Meetings is to look over the Series Meeting
Guides in Chapter 3 of the LEADER'S HANDBOOK. If a topic is not listed
there or in THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING, chances are that it's
not appropriate for Series Meetings.
Some topics, like co-sleeping
(family bed) and home birth, come up frequently at meetings because
many mothers in the Group have experience with them or are interested
in them. These topics are definitely related to the topic of mothering
through breastfeeding, but when the discussion stays on a narrow set
of choices, the balance of ideas is upset. A newcomer would probably
get the impression that only a few choices are acceptable to the Group.
Even when no newcomers are
present, it's good to avoid discussing only one choice. When we get
in the habit of talking about things narrowly, it's hard to switch gears
when new mothers are present. Other attendees may get used to "letting
their hair down," too.
Instead, Leaders can use
the concepts to help provide balance. For example, when many attendees
have talked about their home births, a Leader could say, "And this might
be a good time to mention that LLL believes...."
A narrow focus on a breastfeeding
or parenting topic may develop when a Group meets in a homogeneous community.
For example, attendees from the same culture may have strong beliefs
about foods or religious and political issues. When this is the case,
it is especially important for a Leader to clarify that LLL as an organization
does not hold religious or political views. A Leader can also say that
because of its worldwide membership, LLL holds a broader view on a parenting
issue than that of the local community.
Planning/Evaluation and
Enrichment Meetings provide an opportunity to enlist the help of regular
attendees. Leaders can explain LLLI's policy on mixing causes and ask
for help in presenting a variety of options during Series Meetings.
When members know that there are a variety of parenting choices within
LLL philosophy, they will feel free to share their approaches at Series
Meetings.
A Leader can sometimes use
humor to refocus the discussion. One way to defuse inappropriate topics
at meetings is to say with a smile, "But that's a topic for another
meeting and we're supposed to be talking about breastfeeding here."
As Leaders, we need to be
aware of our own biases. We may find it easier to refocus the discussion
when a topic outside of LLL philosophy is brought up by someone whose
views are different from our own. On the other hand, when we agree with
an opinion a woman has expressed, we may be tempted to let her know
it. We may feel that we are compromising our own values by not letting
her know that we agree with her. Or we may worry that we are passing
up the possibility of a friendship based on similar values. However,
because, as Leaders, we represent LLL's views, it is important to "keep
our Leader hat on."
Hazards of Sharing Personal
Experiences
It's important to be careful
about the topics that we talk about as Leaders. Sometimes, a Leader
may be tempted to say "While LLL doesn't have an opinion about this
topic, my personal opinion is...." In a meeting situation, chances are
that mothers will be more likely to remember the Leader's opinion than
the disclaimer. For one thing, the Leader's opinion is probably more
interesting than the disclaimer, and for another, the mother may have
been distracted by her baby or child when the disclaimer was made. Despite
a Leader's best intention to distance her personal opinion from LLL,
mothers at meetings are likely to regard the Leader's personal opinion
as the official "unofficial" LLL view.
Disclaimers can be even
more tricky when a Leader receives a phone call from a mother she has
never met. She may be tempted to share information she thinks will be
helpful to the mother even when she knows she shouldn't because it goes
beyond LLL's area of expertise (for example, alternative medicine or
information about vaccinations). A Leader has no way of knowing if the
mother will ever call again or come to a Series Meeting. That one phone
call may be the only contact the mother ever has with LLL, so to her,
the phone call is LLL. It's best to make sure that she receives
an accurate impression of what we are and what we do from that one contact.
In general, Leaders need
to be careful about sharing personal experiences. The LEADER'S HANDBOOK
(page 59) reminds us that:
During the course of a
discussion, it is sometimes appropriate for a Leader to illustrate
a point by sharing her own experience, but this is best done sparingly....
The Leader is often perceived differently by the mothers in the Group,
so if she continually shares her own experiences she may be inadvertently
setting herself up as a role model the others are expected to imitate.
It helps to stop and think
about why one is sharing a personal experience. Sometimes, when we find
ourselves tempted to share something that is outside LLL philosophy,
it is because we are looking for validation of choices we have made.
Attendees at Series Meetings often look up to Leaders, so it may be
easy to get that pat on the back from them. It's important for Leaders
to seek validation elsewhere from others who share our views or through
education on the issue so that we are more confident about our choices.
Many Leaders find it helpful
to have another Leader as a confidante to talk about their many interests.
A confidante doesn't have to be a co-Leader in the Group. One Leader
nursing a four-year-old found it helpful to talk about it with a Leader
who was not a part of her Group. That way, when she went to her own
Series Meetings, she didn't have her confidante there as a constant
visible reminder of the conversation they had had about all the advantages
of nursing an older child. There was no temptation to exchange knowing
looks with her co-Leader when a mother in the Group talked about wanting
to wean by the time her baby was a year old.
Sometimes, a Leader feels
that sharing a personal experience would be helpful, but wonders if
it will narrow the focus of the discussion. One way to share such an
experience is to do it in the third person, by saying "I knew a mother
once who . . ." This can be an effective way to offer alternatives.
Use common sense. Take a
step back and think about whether a newcomer would be able to distinguish
between LLL's beliefs and individual interests of members and/or Leaders.
Conversely, if an attendee of the Group moved to another community,
would she have a narrow understanding of LLL philosophy? For example,
would she expect all mothers who attend LLL meetings to practice family
co-sleeping?
Avoiding mixed causes requires
awareness of the potential at all times as well as the ability to look
at our words and actions with objectivity. Leaders tend to be women
with opinions and passion! We care about lots of things and we tend
to take action on our beliefs. It can be a challenge to keep it all
in balance.
If you are concerned about
conflict between representing LLL and living according to your own values
and beliefs, consult with your District Advisor or Area Coordinator
of Leaders.
Nancy Jo Bykowski is
a Leader in Bolingbrook, Illinois, USA, and the Managing Editor of NEW
BEGINNINGS. She and her husband, Phil, have three children, Emily 19;
Noelle, 11; and Adam, 7.
Marianne Vakiener
is a Leader in Fairfax City, Virginia, USA, and Associate Human Relations
Enrichment Administrator for the Eastern US Division. She and her husband,
Paul Kohlbrenner, have two children, David, 8, and Anne, 9 months.
Mixing Causes Statement
Helping mothers
worldwide to breastfeed, so that they can learn mothering through
breastfeeding, is the single focus of La Leche League's work
as defined by LLLI 's Mission Statement and Bylaws,
Article II - Purpose. LLLI's singleness of focus does not
prevent interaction with other organizations whose purposes
are compatible with LLLI s mission. LLLI and all its representatives
have the option of taking advantage of opportunities to cooperate
with others who support, promote and protect breastfeeding in
accordance with established guidelines.
Providing information
from or about another organization whose work is compatible
with La Leche League does not constitute LLLI's endorsement
of that organization. It does indicate that LLLI thinks mothers
may find the organization's information useful.
The LLL Group is
not to be used as a forum for a Leader's non-LLL interests or
to do the work of organizations other than LLL. Leaders may
not use their Leader status for commercial gain derived from
non-LLL activity or to promote their personal non-LLL interests.
Cooperative Action
Guidelines
LLLI Policy and Standing Rules Notebook,
Appendix 10
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