Working with
the Mothering Experience Prerequisite
Leslie Del
Gigante and Trudy Hartt
Leader Accreditation Department Co-Directors
From: LEAVEN, Vol. 35 No. 5, October-November 1999, pp. 110
Questions ... Questions
... Where Are the Answers?
"This isn't my first
baby. Why do I feel so helpless? I've breastfed before and it went well.
Why do I have sore nipples this time? I've missed sleep before and felt
fine. Why am I so exhausted? I know how to change a diaper, to get enough
rest, to breastfeed--but this time it's different. What's happening?"
Questions ... As a La Leche
League Leader, you know that this mother will find her answers by combining
the information LLL provides with the experience she already has.
In 1998, the LLLI Board of
Directors wrote and adopted new criteria for the accreditation of LLL
Leaders. Working with prerequisites is something we've done before and
part of the new criteria - the Mothering Experience Prerequisite - brings
forth lots of questions. Like the mother in our example, "it feels
different" and we're not sure "how to make it work."
Like the mother in our example, we will find our answers in the information
the LLLI Board of Directors provides and what we already know.
The purpose of this article
is to contribute to the discussion - to the gathering and weaving together
of all the information. If some of this looks familiar, that may be
because you read "Applications with Separation" in the April-May
1997 issue of LEAVEN. We've reprinted a lot of the same material because
the main message, the base for this prerequisite, remains the same.
We've also modified the article to make it relevant to today's questions.
Questions
Has LLLI philosophy changed?
Is the purpose of the new prerequisite to accredit mothers with extensive
separation? Does recognizing more pictures of LLLI philosophy mean that
we'll accredit all mothers who apply? The new Mothering Experience Prerequisite
has raised these questions and others similar to them.
The LLL concept statement
regarding mother-baby togetherness reads, "Mothering through breastfeeding
is the most natural and effective way of understanding and satisfying
the needs of the baby." The LLLI Bylaws state that the purpose
of our organization is to help mothers learn to breastfeed and to promote
an understanding of mothering through breastfeeding. Just as LLL philosophy
and purpose do not specify family bed, home birth or attachment parenting,
neither do they mandate full-time, at-home mothering as the only way
to meet baby's needs. Mothering through breastfeeding, not just breastfeeding
as an alternative method of feeding, defines La Leche League.
About LLL Leadership
LLLI accredits women as Leaders
who can communicate mothering through breastfeeding by example as well
as words. The organization's credibility rests on our individual and
collective experiences and commitment to a mothering-through-breastfeeding
philosophy.
About Babies' Needs
We understand that babies
grow and develop and their needs change over time. The ability to separate
from mother is a part of growing up. We have learned from our babies
that a baby's need for his mother's presence is most intense in the
early months and gradually and often unevenly, changes during the early
years. The duration and frequency of separation most three-year-olds
can handle is different from what the infant learning to breastfeed
can tolerate.
About Separation
Separation is a single word
that can take many forms. Separation can be one hour once a week while
baby naps, it can be nine hours per day, five days a week or any combination
in between. What flexibility does a mother have to come to baby when
needed? Is baby brought to mother for feedings and contact? There is
no single quantitative or qualitative meaning of "separation."
About Applications with
Separation
We consider applications
with separation, as we do all applications, individually. What is the
mother's understanding of and experience with mothering through breastfeeding?
How frequent, how long, and how flexible is her separation? How does
it relate to her baby's ability to cope with her absence? LLLI Prerequisites
to Applying for Leadership-- Guidelines for Leaders are written to help
us explore how a mother's experiences and LLLI philosophy come together.
About Baby's Reaction to
Separation
Just as we do not judge a
woman's need to be separated, we do not second-guess the mother's assessment
of her baby's reaction to separation. We do consider the Applicant's
sensitivity to, understanding of and responsiveness to her baby's needs.
We also keep in mind our understanding of child development. For example,
a mother who writes that her four-week-old baby is "happy"
with the separation resulting from a full-time job has a different understanding
of baby's needs than LLL does.
About the Reason for Separation
Whether a woman wants to
or needs to be separated from her baby is her decision. Our focus stays
on her experience, understanding and ability to represent LLLI's mothering-through-breastfeeding
philosophy.
About Choice of Caregiver
Father or another loving
relative who can consistently care for baby is the first choice for
caregiver if mother must be absent. Even so, a loving caregiver does
not lessen the effect on the baby of lengthy separations from mother
nor minimize disruption of breastfeeding.
About Substitutes for Breastfeeding
Sometimes a mother's separations
will necessitate substitutes for breastfeeding. Does the mother value
breast milk as the superior infant food? Does she minimize substitutes
because she understands the importance of meeting baby's need for nourishment
and comfort through breastfeeding?
About Temporary Periods
of Extensive Separation
Sometimes a mother experiences
more separation from a young baby than is consistent with LLLI philosophy.
This separation may last for a period of time before she can end or
limit the separation. When this is the case, we consider the mother's
understanding of her baby's needs and the choices she made to minimize
the effects of the separation. We also consider what she learned from
her experience. Does her temporary experience with extensive separation
and her later experience without it, along with her understanding of
LLLI philosophy, present a picture that fits the Mothering Experience
Prerequisite?
About a Leader's Responsibility
When a woman interested in
leadership is experiencing or has experienced separation from her breastfeeding
baby, keep in mind the many variables to be considered. Consult your
LLL resources, including the Guidelines for Leaders and your Area's
Associate/Coordinator of Leader Accreditation (A/CLA). When you have
questions about a particular mother 's unique experience, these resources
will help you in your discussion of whether or not LLL leadership is
a possibility.
We need to hear from each
other and we need to hear from you! To find answers to accreditation
questions for La Leche League as a whole, we need to continue to bring
together all our thoughts and explore them. As we work with the new
criteria for accreditation and with the mothers in our Groups, let's
continue this discussion so that we can learn together.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:32:23 UTC 2007.
